Victimless crime

Usually the hard part for the cops is finding the bad guy, not the victim.

But tonight, when they identified a man repeatedly striking a woman in the face and flipped on the lights and sirens, the couple divided and bolted. After a two-pronged pursuit, they caught the striker, but not the strikee.

According to the police, when questioned about the woman, he was "extremely evasive." Officers reminded him that, just moments before, he was punching a woman on the street three blocks away.

"Oh, you mean Mary?" the perp offered.

"Was that the woman you were with?" the authorities said.

"Oh. Oh. Wait. You mean Carol?" the pugilist countered.

"Well, was that the woman you punched?" the police tried again.

"Oh, man. I don't know. Did you see Ochoa?" the perp continued to spin.

Frustrated and still without a victim, they arrested the sweet scientist and left it to the court to sort out.

The judge listened patiently as the man described his two-year relationship and all its ups and downs. When the judge asked him where she lived, the perp shrugged. And again, in response to the name game, just a shrug.

The prosecutor requested an order of protection, but could not advise the judge whose name it should list.

Night court judges regularly leap higher hurdles, and without a moment's hesitation, the judge signed the order.

Then, she squared on the defendant and said: "I may not know who the woman is, and the prosecutor may not know and the police too. But you know. And whoever this woman is, you stay away from her. This is known as the spirit of the law and definitely not the letter."

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