The prosecutor maintains that the brown-hooded gentleman stole a cash box containing approximately $280 from perpetual target Duane Reade.

His boldness knew no bounds and his criminal skills were raw at best: He simply leaned over the counter, grabbed it and ran.

Not so, counters the public defender. This man came into the store to browse around and consider a few items for purchase. Having already shopped a bit that day, he checked his bag behind the counter.

When he satisfied his curiosity in the chain pharmacy's offerings, he headed for the exit. No employee availed themselves to "uncheck his bag," so he helped himself.

When he got outside the store, a fellow pedestrian pointed out that there was a money box "attached" to the bottom of his bag. The gentleman turned to bring the box back, but must have pivoted the wrong way.

The police picked him up four blocks from the store. When they ran his record, they found several open warrants and an illustrious criminal career.

No bail.