Police in Indiana say a routine traffic stop led to a $2.2 million cocaine bust — the county's second-largest bust ever — after the couple in the car began to sweat.

[NWI Times]

An apparently remorseful defendant apologized to a judge for spreading his feces around the courtroom where his drug trial occurred ... right before he was sentenced to more than 10 years in prison.

[AP]

A New York cop found the breathalyzer test he was supposed to calibrate worked a little too well — he was found to be legally intoxicated and suspended from duty.

[North Country Gazette]

Today's Daily Naked comes to you from Canada, where police "found a man riding his motorcycle wearing nothing but a football helmet." Which, naturally, was caught on tape.

[570news.com]

One burglar's great plan gone horribly awry: He managed to kick in the ceiling of a convenience store ... right when the last employee was locking up for the night.

[49abcnews.com]

Fourth item in this police blotter: A man and a woman in Indiana allegedly stole a $199 "air nailer" (which was caught on tape), then tried to return it to the same store they stole it from. Great plan!

[NWI Times]

One man's excuse for allegedly robbing a series of banks: He was just like Robin Hood. (We also like the part about checking in with his bosses before he turned himself in.)

[AP]

A thief held up an Australian family at gunpoint before taking off with a bag of a dozen snakes.

[AP]

Yes, it's that time of year again — when parents everywhere duke it out over freaky, fuzz-covered robotic Sesame Street characters. Or, as one 911 caller put it, "this stupid Tickle Me Elmo freaking doll."

[WJZ]

One thief's brilliant plan for getting rid of the diamond ring he'd just stolen: Sell it back to the same jeweler.

[icBirmingham]

In other drunk and wacky news, a Florida man had a really short trip to the police station — after he crashed into it.

[WFTV]

Second item in this Indiana police blotter: A drunk man "attempted to enter a home that was not his home." And check out the third item: One thief's choice of getaway vehicle was apparently a golf cart.

[NWI Times]

A woman who fell asleep in the drive-thru lane of a KFC/Taco Bell restaurant was charged with driving under the influence. Once she woke up, that is.

[Star-Gazette]

Metro.co.uk mentions a Palm Beach post report about a naked man who "allegedly tried to assault a restaurant worker because he had touched the naked man's naked girlfriend's naked breast." Oh, the story gets better.

(And how many times does Metro.co.uk use the word "naked" in their story? 19. We counted.)

[Metro.co.uk]

No, not Ashton Kutcher — the man who allegedly fell asleep in someone's car after a night of drunken biking. (Our favorite line: "Inside the thief's pockets, officers found lighters, change and a tampon.")

[AP/KUTV]

A New Hampshire couple's fight about their marriage escalated when a woman picked up an ax and chased her husband around the house with it. The woman defended herself by calling the ax a "toy" and saying she never threatened to kill him, to which we say: It's all fun and games till somebody gets hurt, lady.

[AP/NWI Times]

Somebody call Scooby-Doo: A Florida man's elaborate Halloween decorations, including a mummy and other monsters, were stolen from his front yard.

[AP]

A California burglar apparently decided to really make himself comfortable — he not only ordered pizza (and paid for it with one of the homeowner's checks), but he was doing his laundry when the owner came home.

[AP]

A mother in Florida was arrested after allegedly allowing her son to grow marijuana in their back yard. She didn't mind, she said, because "it was a nice looking plant."

[AP/TampaBays10, via Fark]

In Greece, a man was arrested after hurling a pot of yogurt at a government official during a statue unveiling.

[AFP]