MARTINEZ, Calif. — It has been more than three years since murder defendant Susan Polk has spoken to her son, Gabriel Polk.

"I'm kind of shocked that he's not remembering what I remember," Polk bemoaned Monday to the judge in her first-degree murder trial.

Polk, 48, is representing herself against charges that she willfully murdered her psychologist husband in 2002. Monday marked a second day of cross-examination, her first contact in years with her youngest son Gabriel, who turned against her after she was charged with killing his father in the middle of a contentious divorce.

"Were you ever present when your father said I couldn't leave and that I better think about the consequences to you and your brothers?" Polk asked her son.

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"No," Gabriel replied.

Susan Polk claims that on Oct. 13, 2002, she stabbed her 70-year-old husband Felix Polk to death in self-defense during a life-or-death struggle with a paring knife.

Polk remembers suffering years of physical and emotional abuse. She remembers being protective of her children. She remembers the "#1 Best Mom Award" plaque her three sons gave her in happier times, which she trotted out in court to remind Gabriel of the same.

Gabriel remembered that his mother was aggressive with his father. He recalled her openly talking about "killing my father." And he added that the "Best Mom" award "was Dad's idea."

Gabriel has repeatedly looked his mother in the eye, despite the awkward constraints of being cross-examined by one's own mother, and stated without hesitation that he considers her to be delusional and a murderer.

"Now that I look back, I think you were pretty delusional my whole life," Gabriel testified Monday.

He accused her of fabricating conspiracies and being driven by perceived injustices in which she believed she had been raped by her own parents, that her husband was a secret agent for the Israeli Mossad, that he was hiding money from her, and that he was carrying on a romantic affair with a family friend.

"After Dad told you that you should be on medication," Gabriel said, "that's when you turned on him."

Gabriel's brother Adam, 23, a student at the University of California at Los Angeles, is also expected to testify against his mother when he takes the stand next.

Loving all sons equally

Susan Polk has been vigilant as her son's inquisitor, attempting to impeach Gabriel's characterization of her as a delusional and a poor mother, and making him answer to a series of childhood misdeeds — from school expulsions to an arrest for shoplifting — incidents for which she refuses to be blamed.

"This is a murder trial, so why are we talking about a schoolyard fight 10 years ago?" Gabriel interrupted at one point, his patience wavering.

At other times Polk has been tearful over the rift between Gabriel and her middle son, Eli, 20, the one who has taken his mother's side and will testify on her behalf. Gabriel and Adam have filed a wrongful death suit against their mother, and Eli is also named as a defendant in their complaint.

"Do you recall telling your brother Eli that he was your best friend?" Polk asked, her voice cracking, as she began to weep.

"Yes," Gabriel answered, appearing tired.

She asked if Gabriel remembered wearing his brother's oversized clothes and shoes to grade school. She asked him if he missed his brother.

Gabriel paused, his shoulders tight as he considered his reply.

"Yes, I still have affection for my brother," he said. "I still have affection for you and for my dad — but I look back and there's bad with the good."

"You still have affection for your brother?" Polk said. "Is that why you're suing him?"

Gabriel said his understanding was that they had sued their mother and that Eli was named because he chose her "side." Polk suggested in her questioning that the suit had already been settled for $300,000 and was to be split evenly among the two sons, but Gabriel cited a confidentiality agreement and would not discuss the terms.

The star witness

The tension in the courtroom is palpable. The gallery is standing room only. But Polk has yet to question her son about the night he found his father's bloodied body in a cottage on the couple's $1.85 million Orinda property. Her questions have revolved around the mundane.

"I think we're having a forest-for-the-trees problem," Superior Court Judge Laurel Brady warned Polk during a break. "A lot of time's being spent on minutiae about events that are extremely important to you — again, I'm not telling you how to try your case — but my concern is that [the jury's] attention will be lost for the important things."

But Polk's determination, calm and steely refusal to capitulate in any argument, even with the judge, may indicate that she will continue to question her son until she is satisfied with his answers.

"I give up," Assistant District Attorney Paul Sequiera burst out at one point after Polk tried at least four different ways to ask her son about a pair of brass knuckles she once found in his car, a point the judge agreed was irrelevant, but allowed after the prosecutor threw up his hands in frustration and withdrew his objections.

"I've given her a lot of latitude," Sequiera complained to the judge during a break, "but at some point we're going to get into spit wads and throwing cornflakes at each other."

While the prosecutor often sits slumped in his chair, and the judge's voice has gone hoarse, Polk appears to be indefatigable.

"I hope you don't think I'm picking on you," she said to Gabriel by day's end, then asked in a lawyerly style if he was aware whether she loved all her sons the same.

"Yes," Gabriel replied, adding: "I know you appreciate Eli a lot more now because he buys into your delusions and we don't."

Gabriel accused his brother of having "a vast criminal history," and said that while he cared for him, he considered Eli to be "troubled."

Polk attempted to refute some of Gabriel's testimony with Eli's probation records, and Eli will have a chance to answer the accusations when he is called to testify.

Polk also made an effort to protect Eli, her star witness, in a separate matter Monday morning when she asked Judge Brady to grant an emergency restraining order for him against his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Provine.

"Ms. Polk, your son is an adult, and if he feels a restraining order is necessary, there is an appropriate process for him to go through," Brady said.

A sheriff's department spokesperson confirmed to Courttv.com that Eli Polk was arrested late Thursday night in his own home on suspicion of domestic battery after a call was received from Provine. She previously accused Polk of domestic battery in October and was granted a restraining order against him.

Polk was released Friday after posting his own bail. Provine could not be reached for comment.

The judge set a hearing date of Thursday at 9 a.m. to take up the motion, asking that someone give Polk's ex-girlfriend notice to attend.

Susan Polk will continue cross-examination of her Gabriel Tuesday morning.