PORTLAND, Maine — All Ryan Cyr wanted after returning home from a four-day trip was his bed. Instead he found his home in shambles — courtesy of a barnyard intruder.

A ram the size of a large dog ate Cyr's plants, destroyed his carpet and couch, and defecated on the floor and furniture while lodging in the one-bedroom apartment. Cyr, a bartender and waiter at a local restaurant, had spent four days out of state and didn't know how the sheep got there.

Authorities arrived at Cyr's brick apartment on Sept. 16 after a neighbor reported a man climbing through a window. Officers found that the grass beneath the first-floor window had been trampled and then heard a strange cry coming from inside.

The officers cautiously entered the apartment looking for a burglar. Instead, they found a young unneutered male sheep. Cyr came home later that day.

Authorities suspect the incident was a practical joke that went awry. An empty bowl of salad had been removed from the refrigerator and lay on the floor. Police believe the man the neighbor saw exiting the apartment window brought the sheep into the apartment and may not have realized that Cyr would be out of town for several days.

The suspect, who has yet to be identified or arrested, would face several criminal charges, according to the Portland police department. But the one known witness, the woolly bully, is not talking.

LASALLE, Ill. — A suspected bank robber apparently planned his getaway in style, ordering a limousine to pick him up from his hotel. Unfortunately for the thief, his driver turned out to be a retired police officer.

John Pope, 39, was arrested Sept. 24 after the driver, Don Madsen, tipped off police that he had a suspicious passenger in the car. Madsen later got a call on his cellphone from one of his former colleagues warning him that the passenger was suspected in a bank robbery earlier that day.

Witnesses say Pope entered the First Midwest Bank branch in Moline, brandished a gun and demanded money from a teller. He made off with an undisclosed amount of money, police say.

Pope had paid Madsen $335 in cash to drive him to Chicago, but Madsen used cryptic language to indicate his location and state police troopers found him at a local truck stop, where they arrested Pope.

Pope is being held in Rock Island County jail on armed robbery charges. No further court dates have been set, according to the county clerk.

NASHVILLE, Tenn.— Call him what you will, but Dennis Ross is one forgiving fellow.

Ross, 44, who had one of his testicles ripped off by his girlfriend in an attack last year, says he has reconciled with her and plans to marry the woman once she is released from jail.

Aretha Oneal, 38, was sentenced to 81 days in prison last week after pleading guilty to assaulting Ross as he slept in his bed on June 16, 2001, according to the Davidson County district attorney's office. Authorities said the couple got into an argument after Ross returned home following a sexual encounter with another woman.

Ross, a backhoe driver, had his testicle successfully reattached at a local hospital and decided against pressing charges, reportedly saying "[Aretha is] my heart, my soul, and that's my better half." But the district attorney's office learned about the incident three months later after Oneal called to report an argument. Oneal was charged under a Tennessee law that requires charges be filed when there is evidence of domestic violence.

NEW YORK — A lawyer representing a Long Island couple accused of having three-way sex on a train last month says they should be commended for not driving home drunk.

Vincent Siccardi says Lyle Greene and his wife Francine could have easily driven home drunk after a night out partying, but decided to be wise and instead ride the rails.

Witnesses say Lyle Greene, 41, Francine, 40, and Greene's brother Dennis, 40, participated in open sex in a triple seat on the 6:05 a.m. Long Island Railroad train from Penn Station on Sept. 22.

Dennis Greene has maintained his innocence, saying he was asleep at the time he was allegedly having sex with his sister-in-law. The three were charged with public lewdness and are due back in court on Oct. 16.